Kimberley & Andrew's story

Tragically, Kimberley Greaves became a young widow at just 44. Her husband, Andrew, died three and a half years after receiving a bladder cancer diagnosis.

Andrew had been passing blood in his urine but had put off visiting a GP due to his busy job, though Kimberley was keen for him to be checked. Andrew had the symptoms for about 5/6 months before he sought help from a GP.  However, a urine sample showed that his results were clear, and no further action was taken. It was only later, after the blood in his urine became darker, and he started passing clots, that Andrew took himself to A&E, where he was advised to get a referral to urology. The urology appointment confirmed tumours in his bladder, and a biopsy revealed that he had bladder cancer.  

A lack of awareness of bladder cancer amongst people means the initial symptoms of the disease are often missed.  Blood in the urine is the most common symptom of bladder cancer, and further tests should have been done when Andrew presented with his symptoms. Early diagnosis of bladder cancer is vital and gives patients the best chances of successful treatment and recovery.

Kimberley has shared their story below:

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It was October 2017 when our world was first turned upside down when Andrew received his bladder cancer diagnosis.  

That summer, he started to notice blood in his urine. It was never permanent; it would come and go. We had just enjoyed a family holiday to Menorca, where we had celebrated Andrew’s 41st birthday. The blood had stopped whilst we were on holiday, but the symptoms started all over again when we returned home.  

Andrew worked throughout the country carrying out garage roof repairs and often worked long hours. I arranged for a urine sample to be sent to our GP so Andrew didn’t have to go in. The results came back clear, and no further action was to be taken. 

Soon afterwards, Andrew took himself off to A&E and was advised to get a referral to urology. We did this, and his urology appointment was booked for late September.  

Andrew attended the first urology appointment by himself. I received a text message: “Babe, I need you”.  (Andrew always called me ‘babe’, which I adored and miss hearing so much).  I just knew it wasn’t going to be good news. 

He said that the consultant had found tumours in his bladder and that he had the early stages of bladder cancer. We were both devastated. 

Fast forward to early January 2019, following bladder wash treatment, Andrew was booked in for another bladder scrape [TURBT] to remove a tumour from the lining of his bladder. 

He wasn’t getting any better and could not continue the cycle of surgeries and scans every 12 weeks. He needed a break. We knew there was only one option left. We decided that bladder removal was the only option. 

We were due to meet the consultant in early February and were all geared up to walk in and tell the consultant that our minds were made up and this is what Andrew wanted to do. We attended the appointment and were dealt a massive blow.  

We were informed that the cancer had metastasised, had gone into his bloodstream, and was now in his lungs. Andrew was referred to start chemotherapy immediately. We felt like our world had just come crumbling down. 

Eighteen months before, we had hope because the cancer had been caught early enough. At this point, our future was filled with uncertainty.  

Then, out of nowhere, COVID hit. 

The pandemic outbreak meant Andrew’s treatment was delayed by three months, and he was forced to attend hospital appointments alone. 

Andrew began immunotherapy – a type of cancer treatment that helps your immune system fight cancer – in August 2020. Unfortunately, this treatment began too late, and he struggled almost immediately.

He found himself with terrible earache; suffered from chest pain and back pain; A&E started to become a regular occurrence for Andrew. And he also started to notice a return of the blood in his urine. 

Tragically in October, Andrew was told that the cancer had spread further and was now in his liver. He underwent further treatment to target the cancer in this area, but he felt even worse. He was in agonising pain in his lower back, side, and chest. 

Devastatingly, by February 2021, we were told that my husband Andrew couldn’t continue with his treatment as there were too many signs of active cancer. Instead, they referred us to the palliative care team at Ashgate Hospice. We were so upset, but I had to remain hopeful – for Andrew and our kids.  

Andrew’s oncologist agreed to see him again after six weeks, and if his overall health improved, his treatment could restart. However, Andrew didn’t get any better. 

Andrew was now too weak to walk far, so we had organised for him to have a wheelchair. It breaks my heart that I had to push this usually strong man, and I think it broke his heart a little.

Now, all we could hope for was getting the proper care so that Andrew could spend what time he had left at home; we chose Ashgate Hospice.

 My husband Andrew became less communicative towards the end of his life. 

There was one time I noticed him getting agitated in bed, and I asked him if he needed anything, not sure if he would answer or not. He replied clearly with ‘‘you’’ – all he wanted was me. There was never any doubt in our 26 and a half years together that that man loved me so much. 

Andrew peacefully passed away on a Friday night. I caught sight of the TV and quickly realised that Andrew had died during his favourite TV show – Gogglebox.  

Friends lined the streets on Chatsworth Road as the funeral procession took Andrew on his final journey past all his favourite pubs. Andrew was very popular, but he never sought popularity. He was a very easy-going, friendly and chatty type of person. He had a lot of time for people and is fondly remembered by many for his big smile.

Now he’s gone, and I’m still trying to find my feet. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I want to make Andrew proud. 

Andrew was such a special person, and he will always have a piece of my heart.

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